Yes, I know…this is shocking news to anyone who knows me.
OK, so I have made a few decisions here and there, but I haven’t really made many big decisions in my life. I’ve kinda stumbled into things all the way through.
Note: This is gonna be a long one. Consider yourself warned.
One of the first major decisions I had to make was which college to go to. All my life I had said I was going to go to the UW in Madison because that’s where all my family is, and I would always spend some time around campus in the summers. The summer I was there between Junior and Senior years of high school, I went to actually visit with some admissions people. The people were rather snotty and nasty to me because I was from out of state (though I could have arranged to be “in state” over the next year with all the family that lived up there), which left a bad taste in my mouth, so I decided not to apply. I ended up applying to a couple schools, but what made me to go WIU? It was the one we could afford and wasn’t too far away from home.
Then it came time to choose a major. I wasn’t quite ready for that decision, so I went undeclared. Before school started I got sent a letter offering me a scholarship for freshman year if I declared a math major for at least freshman year. I figured, why not? So I declared a math major. By the end of freshman year, I still had no clue what I wanted to major in, but I was through 3rd semester Calculus, my Maple credit, Ordinary Differential Equations, and a couple Math honors credits, and I had no clue what else to declare that wouldn’t put all that to waste. So I stuck with Math. The math degree required some basic computer classes, which made a computer science minor kind of obvious. I mostly enjoyed those classes, and by Junior year, I had some spare credits available, so I considered bumping my minor up to a second major. When I started looking into it, I found out I had to take a class with the professor who taught the only computer class I hadn’t liked, so I stuck with a minor.
At that point, I started trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life, but what do you do with a math degree? Well, there’s teaching. So very not for me. The only other thing I had heard of was an actuary, and when I started researching it, I found that an accounting background was helpful. I actually made a small decision and added an accounting minor. I didn’t really mind accounting, but I was really glad I wasn’t a major and having to do all the extra stuff the required from anyone who was a major, which I got a front-row seat as the only non-major in just about every accounting class.
In Sophomore year, I was looking for a part-time job. Out of nowhere, one of the math professors asked if I’d be willing to tutor in the Math Help Center. Not a bad situation, so I went for it. After a while though, I started finding out that it wasn’t for me. (This is also where I learned I couldn’t be a teacher.) By Senior year, I couldn’t take it anymore and figured I’d try going without a job for a short while and look for something else. A few days later, I ran into a friend I used to tutor with, and she said she knew of a job, so I went to check it out, and suddenly, I was doing odd jobs for the Illinois Institute for Rural Affairs (IIRA). By the end of the year, this same friend said her boss had asked her to find someone to replace her as a grad assistant for the Rural Economic Technical Assistance Center (a unit within IIRA), and she was going to suggest me if I wanted it. Before you know it, I had a grad assistantship and needed to figure out what I was going to go to grad school for.
At this point, I was somewhat fed up with Math and wanted something a little different. I started looking into what was required to get a Masters degree in Computer Science. I was afraid it would include that one class taught by the professor I didn’t want anything to do with, but by that point, things had changed and I could avoid that particular class and still get the degree, so I applied for Computer Science.
Towards the end of grad school, it was time to start looking for a job. Of course, I procrastinated as much as possible, so I went to a career fair in early April, just before graduation. While there, I ran into my current employer. This wasn’t exactly someone I associated with IT, so I wasn’t searching them out, but I stopped to talk with them. They were doing some information interviews in a few days and suggested I sign up, so I did. After going through that, they asked me to come in for an interview, so I did. I seemed to have gotten pretty lucky in the timing, apparently towards the end of all the hiring they were doing at that time, because a couple days later, they called to offer me a job, and I took it. It’s one of those situations that you just don’t pass up, especially since this was just when the dot com craze was starting to fall apart.
Once I was in the job for a while, I got to the point where I needed to find something else. Even my supervisor said I needed to get to something else with more challenge. Around that same time, there was a re-org and I got a new supervisor. She heard what I was looking for along with some others within the section, saw a need within the section and came up with a pilot, and before you know it, I was in a different role. Not a completely different job, but a different role at least. It got me some more challenge and experience, but unfortunately, it also led me right into my current job.
There was another re-org, and we had switched supervisors. At that point, what my role really was got lost in translation and because I had a certain title, I got moved into another group and into a role I had actually turned down twice in the past. It’s not that it’s a bad role, but it’s not what I want to be doing. So I’m now looking for something else. And this is one of the first times in a long time that I’m not at the right place at the right time to stumble into something. So this puts a lot more pressure on, and I’m worried that making the wrong choice will get me stuck into something I don’t like for another couple years. And I still haven’t quite figured out just what that should be, so the whole idea is making me a bit nervous. And I’m wondering if, deep down, I’m waiting to stumble into the next thing.