Is there such a thing as bathroom etiquette?

Note: I originally came up with this post several weeks ago and hadn’t gotten around to posting. Then, the moment passed and I just hadn’t bothered. But, after having a 5 min discussion on toilet seats with Josh at lunch today, this post seemed somewhat relevant again.

I’m not comfortable talking in bathrooms. OK, I suppose it’s alright if you’re standing at the sink or something, but when one of the conversation’s participants enters the stall, it just seems weird to me. That’s not to say I haven’t done it. I’ve continued already started conversations, but I often let them drift off a little bit. Well, except when I’m drunk. I don’t think the thought crosses my mind at that point. I’ve had lots of conversations in bathrooms when I’m drunk, but I think that has more to do with the fact that out at a bar is when I’m most likely to go to the bathroom as part of a group.

However, one thing I just can’t get used to and would never actually do myself is talk on a cell phone while in the bathroom. Mr. B has since informed me he does this all the time, but I first encountered this on a trip to Chicago a month or two ago. I hadn’t even realized there was someone else in the bathroom until she started talking to herself. I kinda felt bad flushing the toilet cause the other person had to have been able to hear it the way that place echoed. I didn’t really think much of it at the time, however, I’ve encountered this multiple times since in the bathrooms at work. Several times there’s been someone in one of the stalls talking away. Other times, someone has answered a phone while sitting in the stall. Now, I’ve had a cell phone in the bathroom with me at times, but even if it rang, I wouldn’t answer it there. I’d either ignore it or check who it was and kick them over to voice-mail. Either way, I’d just wait and call them back afterwards. There’s a couple reasons for this:

1. I would be a bit afraid of dropping my cell phone into the toilet. I’ve heard stories of this occurring and don’t want to have it happen to me. I once had my phone clipped onto a pocket and it slid out and bounced off the floor of a public bathroom. The bathroom wasn’t all that clean, so that freaked me out enough. I just don’t want to risk it.
2. At some point, it’s just necessary to have both hands to get yourself put back together. Now, I can prop a normal phone between my head and shoulder like no one’s business. A cell phone doesn’t work so well. They’re way too small and usually pretty slippery. I just have a hard time keeping a cell phone in place like that. So apparently, I’m just not coordinated enough to pull this off. And of course, that means there’s an additional risk of dropping the phone into the toilet.
3. (I’m terribly sorry about this next part – I think I was channeling Josh at the time this thought popped into my head. Anyone who knows him will understand what I mean by that and just why I then had to maintain the integrity of this comment. I even wrote it down at the time to make sure I wouldn’t forget it.) I’m not into subjecting the other person to that. Because if I was on the other end of the phone, the last thing I would want to hear while talking to someone is flushing toilets or, even worse, that person or anyone else in the bathroom straining to squeeze out a Mr. Hanky.

So please, if I call you while you’re in the bathroom, do us both a favor and just call me back later.